So, I haven't trained at all for 2 weeks. I am taking this week off too. And we are snowboarding from the 12-18... So there won't be any training until after that. And that leaves about 2 weeks until abu dahbi (in Montreal)... which I really want to win so they'll pay for my trip to compete there.
If I do in fact want to win, why aren't I training? Why is now the time I am taking a break? It was time. My body needed it. My body needs it. I've been hovering around 110 pounds which is too light for my height and I can feel it when I train. Today I was 115, which is good, but recent stress and illness hasn't allowed me to make much more progress on gaining weight. A short 2 days ago I was 110 again... But I have been eating loads the last few days and it's helping slowly. Trying to train when I'm around 110 is brutally tiring and exhausting. My body just has no energy.
Still, all of that wasn't really a good enough reason for me to take a break. It was seeing this osteopath that Daniel recommended named Todd. I have seen him 3 times and I see him again this Friday. He has been adjusting my body and organs and trying to get everything working better... So my body can focus on kicking cancer out. To make a long story short, he basically said I need rest. He had to word it like this to make it sink in for me: "what's more important, jiu jitsu or getting better from cancer?"
Talk about reality check. So I am trying to listen to my body and give it what it needs. It's hard because I am such a strong willed person I can push my body (with my mind) beyond the limits of most normal humans. But, that hasn't served me well really. Being disconnected from my body, having my mind over run my body. It's not to say I can't exercise or train... I just may have to go about it differently.
Anyway, who would have ever thought I'd willingly take almost a month off training (it will be about that by the time I go back)..... But this is for the big picture. I don't just want to do jiu jitsu for a year or two, even if I accomplish a lot. I want to do it for the next 30 years. In order to do that I have to heal. I have to get well. I am willing to take a break if it'll get me closer to that.
I miss training. But my body is feeling different and well and I know that I need this.
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you have the strongest will of anyone i know. cancer is being defeated i just know it!!!
ReplyDeleteAh, "Blaze," what a perfectly apt moniker. I'm so glad I followed this link (from comments on Sarah's blog). I wondered who Blaze was, and I'm happy that now I know. If you need help putting on a few pounds, I'll treat you to lunch any time, heh heh!!
ReplyDeletexo
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