So, after about a 4 or 5 week hiatus from training. I've been slowly getting back to it over the last two weeks. At first it was really hard and I got really tired, really fast.
I remember at the end of class having a 5 minute roll with a white belt and dominating and submitting the crap out of him... And getting more gassed and slower, and sloppier as time wore down. I heard Jorge shout: 2 more minutes and I laughed to myself and told the guy I was done. I didn't have two more minutes in me. That was my first class back with Jorge. Things are much better now. Yesterday's class was much better. I felt strong and not tired. My technique felt good. I feel strong again.
Jorge gave a speech at the beginning of class and it was really inspiring. He always draws parallels between jui jitsu and life. He was saying that every day we need to try to be a little bit better than the day before. And how that mentality adds up after a week, a month, a year, and beyond. He said a lot of people loose in their minds before they even get on the mat. He said we have to be the first ones to tell ourselves we are going to win, that we are going to make it. So instead of stepping on the mat and saying, I'm going to lose, I should have trained more, I have no chance against this guy, he's big, he's strong. We have to say, I am going to win, this is going to be my day, people say he's really tough-unbeatable, but I am going to surprise him and submit him and win. He said we have to be the first people who proclaim our own victory, not our own defeat. If you think you are going to lose in your mind, you almost surely will. If you think you are going to win, you may not always, but at least you aren't conceding defeat before the fights even happened.
And he said this is like life too, if you lose your job, you don't think I'm never going to find anything, you think I'm going to find something better. He said, if you are sick, you say every day I am going to get a little bit better, more well. For obvious reasons that really struck me. Lately I have been wondering if I am really getting better, if this new chemo protocol is working for me, doubting... This inspired me. Screw what the doctors say. In my mind I am going to be determined. I am not going to assume the worst before the results are in-so to speak. Every day I am going to have the mind set that I am getting a little bit better than I was yesterday, that I am moving towards wellness.
I want to be a champion in jiu jitsu. But even more I want to be a champion in life and overcome all the obstacles set before me. And cancer, I am going to win, today is going to be my day, people say you are really tough-unbeatable, but I am going to surprise you and submit you and win.